Midlife Crisis is one of the most soul-crushing and dream-killing phrases in the English Language. If a man quits a 'good job' in pursuit of his dreams, people shake their heads. A woman who no longer wants to stay home with the kids and decides to return to school or the workforce (or vice versa) receives the timeless 'bless her heart'. Hallway whispers and side-glances often precede the dismissive phrase, 'oh, they must be having a midlife crisis.' 

As a Gen-X'er, we're now the midlifers with the Xennials (Elder Millenials) close behind. For us, it's a whole different game, and we get to make the rules. When I decided to follow a different path, I felt as if it were a midlife crisis. That is until I realized we are all called to this moment in life. The response to the call, however, can be mess-making or life-changing or both. What if the so-called midlife crisis is actually an awakening of spirit rather than a departure from the common?

Who Says It's A Crisis Anyway

Canadian Psychologist Elliott Jacques coined the term midlife crisis in 1957 in London. He used it to describe when a person reaches their late thirties and begins to reflect on their life while contemplating what remains of their days on earth. The phenomenon, he asserted, could last several years. The symptoms included a range of things such as promiscuity, boredom, daydreaming, self-questioning, extramarital affairs, decreased or increased ambition. It's a rather long list. 

However, Jacques points out that he wasn't the first to characterize midlife as a swirl of emotions and questions about what to do with the remainder of one's life. Dante Alighieri's The Divine Comedy opens with the protagonist despairing about being lost in a dark forest at the midpoint of his life. 

At the time, Jacque was 40 years old and presented his theory to an audience of roughly 100 attendees. To his surprise, it was received enthusiastically. Isn't it interesting that he rose to notoriety in his midlife by saying that everyone else seeking to do the same is in crisis? 

We Are Supposed to Reach Awareness

Through my study and quest to figure out what comes next in my life, I stumbled on to clarity. For years, I found myself continually drawn to the Om symbol. Though there are various schools of thought and Indian religions interpret the Om symbol differently, it roughly translates to a heightened state of awareness and consciousness. In the chakra system, while there is debate on whether it's an actual chakra, it is the seventh and last.

Chakra is Sanskrit for 'plexus', 'wheel', or 'vortex'. Six chakras are associated with energy fields generated within different parts of the body. Collectively the energy fields move like a wheel or vortex. When the energy is off-balance in one, it can throw off the entire system. The seventh is the crown of the head, Om, and is often referred to as 'I know'. The chakras also correspond to distinct life stages. Each chakra develops during specific periods in our life. Om or knowing comes last, in our midlife. This season of our lives, according to the practice, lasts about ten years and serves as a natural stage of personal enlightenment and awareness where the intention is to look back and obtain wisdom.

Biological Evolution Versus Technical and Cultural Evolution

Here's where things begin to take a turn. The chakra system originated between 1500 and 500 BC. Then life expectancy was somewhere between 30-45 years. That suggests the seventh chakra, Sahasrara, or Brahma, the 'I know' came toward the end of life, a natural point of reflection for any human. But because life expectancy has doubled due to medical advancements, the enlightenment phase now brings with it the swirl of uncertainty, doubt, and questions of what to do with the next 40-50+ years of life.

What stops us is not only fear but society, friends, family, and colleagues who stand ready to shoot the 'midlife crisis' bullet out of the judgment gun. 

Culturally, the expectation is to get a good job, marry, have children, retire, then die. When we reach our natural reflection point, which seems biologically programmed for 35-40, we may envision making new and different choices for ourselves. In today's world, there are infinite resources to start a business, change careers, travel, and pursue dreams. What stops us is not only fear but society, friends, family, and colleagues who stand ready to shoot the 'midlife crisis' bullet out of the judgment gun. 

The Reaction Can Be the Crisis

Upon learning and digesting the chakra system, I began to understand my fascination with it. I'm in the appropriate stage of life. It's not a crisis. Socially speaking, our life script ends before our life does. As Ben Franklin put it, "some people die at 25 but aren't buried until 75". So when we deviate from the social norms of school-job-marry-kids-retire-die, we are perceived as abnormal when, in fact, our biological programming is kicking in, and it's scary. 

Our midlife awakening can become a crisis when the fear combines with foolishness. The stereotype of the man buying the Corvette and marrying a woman half his age typically comes to mind. However, foolishness takes many forms - from staying in a toxic relationship to remaining in a job you hate. Intentional unhappiness, remaining stuck, and knee-jerk reactions are the crisis. When not handled well, the awakening can result in destroyed relationships, depression, and all-out chaos. 

Consider that it doesn't occur overnight. What we resist persists. Perhaps crisis is the result of stifled attempts to awaken in more productive and healthy ways or ignoring it altogether.

Next Time Ask 'Are You Having a Midlife Awakening'

I would argue that Elliot Jacques has had his 63 years of fame. How many defer their dreams, or worse, never realize them because the mere utterance was met with the soul-crushing question 'are you having a midlife crisis.' It's time to do away with the notion of midlife crisis and embrace what a gift it is to reach the flexion point of learning and wisdom - when students become the teachers in preparation to become the masters. We have something our ancestors didn't. Time. They reached enlightenment and had precious little time left on earth to harness its power. That's a crisis.

It's time to do away with the notion of midlife crisis and embrace what a gift it is to reach the flexion point of learning and wisdom - when students become the teachers in preparation to become the masters.

So my dear fellow Gen X'ers, lean into your midlife awakening with the knowledge that our biology is lagging behind technological advancements and societal norms haven't kept pace either. Embrace your second (or third) act without worry. You're in good company. Barack Obama, Henry Ford, Ray Krock, Charles Darwin, Stan Lee, Vera Wang, Sam Walton, Betty White, and Arianna Huffington, to name a few, hit their stride near the 40-year mark or later. If that's a midlife crisis, sign me up.