One of my favorite movies is An Officer and a Gentleman. While Mayo (Richard Gere) carrying Paula (Debra Winger) out of the factory at the end is an iconic scene, to me, that was the least interesting thing about the movie. For many GenX'ers, it was Top Gun, but for me, An Officer and a Gentleman is the movie that inspired me to want to be a Naval Aviator.
When you align with your passion and purpose, the transformation will likely exceed your current abilities. It will require work and effort that you aren't used to as you learn new things, integrate tough life lessons, and jump into your destiny.
If you aren't familiar with the movie, here's a brief synopsis. Zack Mayo, the main character, arrives at Naval Officer Candidate School with dreams of "getting jets" as a naval aviator. Sgt. Foley immediately dresses down the would-be pilots to let them know this will not be easy. Mayo, a loner, manages to make friends with Sid Worley, a down-to-earth honorable man looking to make his family proud. Also in the class is the only woman candidate, Casey Seeger, whose drive and ambition to fly for the Navy is unmatched by her male counterparts, but she struggles to get over the wall, an actual wall.
The transformations of these three characters illustrate that our purpose is often above our current level, and the journey to get there will likely be brutal. But it's up where you belong.
Transformation 1 - She Jumped, And The Universe Rose Up To Meet Her
The Gen X'ers who wanted to be fighter pilots often attribute it to #TopGun, but not me. I didn't like an Officer and a Gentleman because of the romantic ending. Though I had a boyfriend who showed up to my job in his dress whites because he knew how much I loved that movie. Seeger was my inspiration. From the movie's outset, Seeger knew she wanted to fly jets. She also knew that the barriers would be more significant as a woman. Refreshingly, however, one of the barriers was not her male cohort mates. Her barrier was a literal barrier.
While Seeger excelled at the academic and many of the physical aspects of the training, she struggled to get over a wall on the obstacle course. To "get jets" she had to make it over, or she would not graduate and advance to flight school. Her ambition was above her current skill set.
Undeterred, she would stay on the base during leave to build up the strength to get over the wall. Time and again, she would fail. She knew it was her passion and purpose to be an aviator. Not just a pilot, but a Navy pilot. She made the jump by showing up to Officer Candidate School, but now she had an obstacle between her and her dream.
Of course, she makes it over the wall in the end, but not without others standing in the gap for her.
Transformation 2 - He Took Flight, And The Wings Appeared
Throughout much of the movie, it is unclear to the audience and to Zach Mayo why he is there. He knew he wanted to fly jets but had no idea why. He was a loner and didn't believe in helping anyone but himself, nor did he believe in love. But he forged close relationships with Worley and his love interest, Paula.
Mayo spends most of the movie bucking a system he willingly joined but claimed he didn't need. For him, flying jets was a job. A gifted candidate, he is on track to break the obstacle course record (that's important). He merely had to stay in the program, which is problematic for him. He and Sgt. Foley bump heads a lot. Sgt. Foley's role isn't just to prepare them for flight school, he has to turn them into leaders, followers, and teammates. Mayo starts off with the wrong attitude, believing he already is a leader and doesn't need the other characteristics. After using the tried and true methods of building a leader, Foley decides to go for the DOR, dropped on request. He makes Mayo's life miserable.
While everyone is on leave, Foley holds Mayo back and gives him the workout of his life for two days trying to force Mayo to quit. He tells him straight up, "I want your DOR." When he doesn't get it, he kicks Mayo out regardless, at which point Mayo breaks down and breaks through. And we all, including Mayo, find out why he's there. Because "he has nowhere else to go." And with that, Foley allows him to stay.
With this new understanding of his need for connection, friendship, and love, Mayo steps up as a leader. He becomes the follower he should be and the teammate everyone needs. When it's time for the final obstacle course challenge, everyone cheers him on to break the course record, even as he runs past them.
He reaches the wall where Seeger is struggling to get over. As he shouts words of encouragement to her, he ascends the wall and continues on. Steps away from the finish line, Mayo looks back to see that Seeger hasn't come over the wall yet. After glancing back to his team at the finish line jumping and cheering for him, he returns to the wall where he finds Seeger on the ground in tears. She says she can't do it.
Mayo snatches her up and demonstrates how to use the rope to get over the wall. Seeger grabs the rope, and at the first sign of struggle, he yells at her to "walk that wall." She reaches the top, pulls herself over, and they go through the finish line together - sacrificing the record.
Now in the growth zone, Mayo has learned true leadership, followership, and friendship.
Transformation 3 - He Thought He Knew But Was Wrong (🚨Trigger Alert - Seriously)
This transformation is the toughest. Before you continue reading about this transformation, please know that it deals with the serious and sensitive topic of mental health.
Sid Worley's older brother died, leading him to join Naval Officer Candidate School to make his parents proud. Not only that, he is engaged to his brother's fiance because he felt he owed it to his brother to take care of her. In his mind, his brother's death deprived his parents of a Naval Aviator son and his fiance of being the wife of a Navy officer. He's there out of a sense of duty and obligation.
Despite his impending marriage, Sid and Mayo go out to a bar where they meet Lynette and Paula, respectively. Even though it's meant to be a fun fling while they go through training, feelings enter the mix. Lynette wants to be a pilot's wife, and she, believing Sid is her ticket out of her small-town life, tells him she's pregnant.
At first, Sid is freaked out but ultimately decides he wants to marry Lynette. Through self-reflection, he realized that the life he chose was for everyone else, not him. He didn't want to fly jets. Instead, he wanted to return to Oklahoma with Lynette and build a family while working at the local store. With a ring in hand, he drives to Lynette's house in his civilian clothes. When she asks why he's out of uniform, he tells her that he dropped on request with three weeks to go.
At this point, Lynette informs him that there is no baby. She doesn't want to move to Oklahoma and wants to be a pilot's wife living around the world. Hurt and confused, Sid leaves her house and checks into the hotel they frequent on the weekends. When Mayo learns that Sid DOR'ed, he drives around to find him and asks Paula for help. They eventually find him at the hotel where he had taken his own life.
Sid's transformation is that he "wakes up" one day to find himself in the comfort zone, but had thought he was in the growth zone. He really believed his choices were what he wanted. But he was unable to reconcile his deeply painful inner world to move to the jump zone. And Mayo is left destroyed, wondering if things would've been different if he had gotten there sooner. Or if he had stood in the gap for his friend. Though painful, it provides the clarity Mayo needs to complete his transformation. Thus, he ends up sacrificing his record for Seeger and in the warehouse carrying Paula out. He now has somewhere to go and with someone.
If your journey is becoming overwhelming - there is no shame in needing and asking for help. Being a warrior does not mean not needing or asking for help.
Up Where You Belong
These transformations, especially that of Seeger, inspired me to want to be a Naval Aviator. At this time, every movie showed men as the hero. This was one of the first movies where I saw a woman in a "man's world" AND in a positive light. She wasn't being harassed or demeaned. When she was struggling, her male counterparts helped and respected her.
At this time, every movie showed men as the hero. This was one of the first movies where I saw a woman in a "man's world" AND in a positive light. #GetJets
Even the theme song, though written as a love song, is about transformation.
Who knows what tomorrow brings In a world few hearts survive All I know is the way I feel When it's real, I keep it alive The road is long There are mountains in our way But we climb a step every day Love lift us up where we belong Where the eagles cry On a mountain high Love lift us up where we belong Far from the world below Up where the clear winds blow Some hang on to used to be Live their lives looking behind All we have is here and now All our lives, out there to find
As you progress to your next level, whether the road is long or short, it will be a challenge. Anything that challenges you is meant to change you. Your purpose will always be above your current level. You are a warrior. Jump, and the wings will appear.
Sometimes life will want your DOR. Tell yourself to WALK THAT WALL AND GET UP WHERE YOU BELONG!
Photo credits: Universal and Paramount