I used to think a life coach was an extravagance. But I gave it a shot anyway. Growing up as an athlete, I had many coaches, but I knew what to expect. They focused on my physical performance and conditioning. The good ones also took time to keep my head in the game on and off the field. My first life coach was interesting and exactly what I needed. But as time went on, I realized she wasn’t growing with me, and it became a contentious relationship for me. I grew to dread my calls with her. The second one was a life-slash-business coach. He was terrible, hands down. Thousands of dollars later, I came to understand one thing. My terrible experience was not their fault. It was mine. 

Understand What You Want from a Coach

Before you consider looking for a coach, take time to get crystal clear about why you want a coach. Do you feel stuck in life? Are you in the throes of a big decision, and you want an impartial sounding board? Do you need help achieving a goal? Or, did you receive feedback at work strongly urging you to seek coaching? 

Here’s a quick exercise I recommend. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Get a blank piece of paper, and in the center, write down the number one thing on your mind. For example, ‘I want to transition to a new career’. Around that statement, jot down all thoughts that come to mind. You may feel too old to switch careers, or you don’t have enough experience. Other things that may come to mind might be that you hate your job or your boss. Whatever those thoughts are, write them down. You may fill up the whole page or have a few ideas. Regardless, sit there, undistracted, for the entire 10 minutes. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Once the time is up, read through your thoughts while looking for themes. Are most of your feelings about fear? Lack of skill? Lack of knowledge? This will begin to give you an idea of what you want to accomplish with a coach. In my first experience with a life coach, I had no agenda. The coach was part of a professional development package I purchased. At first, being able to talk with her was great. But, frankly, my time would have been better spent with a therapist because I didn’t have a goal in mind. I just needed to talk to someone.

With that said, in working with her, I discovered I wanted to create a blog. And we created a plan to do that. She had a tool for tracking progress that I didn’t care for, so I improved upon it. When it was time to re-up, I did. My experience so far was fine. But probably because I didn’t know better. After re-upping, things changed. She wasn’t a good listener. For example, I would tell her something, and then in her very next breath, she would ask me a question that I had literally just answered. It was frustrating. She also didn’t know much about business or starting a blog, so she was unhelpful in pointing me toward resources. As I evolved in my journey, her techniques remained the same. She was happy to take my money. My point is, you are more likely to have a great experience if you go in knowing what you want to get out of it. 

Choose the Best Type of Coaching

There is no recognized standard for coaching. I consider myself a life strategist because I help people gain clarity about the bigger picture of their lives. Gaining clarity of your life’s mission, vision, and how to integrate the parts of yourself professionally and personally into a complete picture.

You may want executive coaching who can help you with leadership and presence. This type of coaching could include conducting a 360 review from your staff to determine your blind spots and putting together a professional development plan for improvement. Life coaching can encompass many things but tends to focus more on personal goals. That requires, what I call, a Personal Development Curriculum. High-performance coaching helps people accelerate their results. You may already have the foundation, but you want to identify gaps and desire a different perspective.

…coaching isn’t therapy. Some coaches are therapists. However, these are two distinct disciplines.

Regardless of the type of coaching you desire, always seek out someone who focuses on results. My personal opinion is if you want coaching that continues without an end goal in mind, you may be seeking therapy. Perfectly acceptable. But coaching isn’t therapy. Some coaches are therapists. However, these are two distinct disciplines. 

A single coach can do multiple types of coaching by employing the right techniques at the right time. Your prospective coach should have two things. One, they should provide a consultation to determine if you two are a good fit. Two, they should have an intake process where they gather information about you, your goals, and desired outcomes. It’s all about you!

Coaching is a Marathon of Small Sprints

Results-based coaching moves people closer to their desired outcomes. Coaching doesn’t have to last forever, though. You may find you’re good to go after a single round lasting between two to three months, or with an on-going relationship until you decide to stop. Regardless of if you desire a change in your life, career, or business, it requires action. The best way to achieve your big goal is by accomplishing several small goals over time.

Case in point is my third and best experience with coaching. As part of a program for my job, I worked with an executive coach for two years. I went into the relationship knowing what I wanted to gain. She not only took the time to get to know me, but she also listened and took notes. She challenged me. In every session, she provided resources for self-study. I admit I didn’t always do the prep work before the meeting. Frankly, I should have. Both of us would have gotten more out of the session. I was struggling with my manager at the time, so my sessions became more about surviving than thriving. 

…it allowed me to see the playing field and develop a long-term strategy of short-term plays.

In every meeting, we set small goals. Because my manager was a distinct pain point for me, I wanted to focus on managing my reactions to him (and some others who exacerbated the issue). My 360 review administered by the program helped me uncover blindspots. Then she and I came up with a plan to address each of them, one at a time. I didn’t feel overwhelmed, but it allowed me to see the playing field and develop a long-term strategy of short-term plays. It doesn’t matter what your end goal is, it will take time to get there, but you should be collecting wins along the way. 

Coaching is for Everyone

There is a misperception that coaching is for CEOs or rich people. Or that it’s an indulgence rather than a necessity. High performers naturally seek feedback and coaching. We accept that elite athletes require coaching. It’s time that we equate being a high performing entrepreneur, leader, or professional with being an elite athlete. Everyone can benefit from a perspective other than their own provided by an impartial expert to guide and shape our performance. Given that Gallup reports 75% of people quit their jobs because of dissatisfaction with their manager, the need for executive coaching is a viable option to stop the bleeding. Executive coaches, however, are often considered a last resort, if at all, but need to be used as first responders in this crisis of lack-luster leadership.

Executive coaches, however, are often considered a last resort, if at all, but need to be used as first responders in this crisis of lack-luster leadership.

The Institute of Coaching cites that 86% of companies who invest in coaching benefit from a return on the investment. 80% of people who receive coaching report an increase in self-confidence. And over 70% of those with a coach or who underwent coaching improved not only their work performance but their relationships and communication skills as well. Broach the topic with your manager. There’s a chance they would be willing to pay for or subsidize coaching as part of your Individual Development Plan, IDP.

Coaching is not for you if you’re not ready or willing. The best return on investment comes through guided self-reflection. If you feel forced to do it, you won’t care to participate in the exercises or deeply intimate discussions designed to help you identify and remove barriers to success. If you’re not sure coaching is for you, schedule a call with a few different coaches to understand their approach. Chances are if you’re not opposed to it outright, you haven’t made the jump yet because you lack information. And coaching is likely a viable option for you.