As a leader, balancing both feminine and masculine energy to achieve the desired outcomes is essential. The best leaders understand the power of pouring into their team, while bad leaders often drain others of their energy.
I don’t believe in bad leaders. One is either a leader or they aren’t. They could be okay, good, great, etc. An individual may occupy a leadership position or title, but words do not make a leader. However, for the sake of this article, I will use the terms good or bad leader to explain the transfer of energy.
Pharaoh Hatshepsut’s Third Lesson
In my previous edition, I wrote about Pharaoh Hatshepsut, Egypt’s second woman Pharaoh and one of the most prolific rulers in history. While she is lesser known than Cleopatra or King Tut (Tutankhamun), she led Egypt through two decades of prosperity. She started as a Princess, the daughter of the previous Pharaoh. After her husband died, she became Queen Regent because her stepson was too young to rule. Eventually, she realized she could be more effective as the Pharaoh than the Queen.
King and Pharaoh isn’t necessarily a one-to-one translation. The Pharaoh is the one perceived to be the closest to God. While in other monarchy systems, the King is a male ruler, and the Queen is a female ruler. Most pharaohs were men.
When Hatshepsut proclaimed herself Pharaoh, she did an interesting thing. She didn’t lead as a man or woman. Instead, she masterfully blended the King’s regalia and Queen’s clothing and jewelry to indicate the balance of the masculine and feminine energies. And when she wore the Pharaoh’s headdress, she did so barechested as a man would have.
Hatshepsut was the original influencer gaining support and curating a council of advisors that helped her ascend to the throne and make critical decisions. She leaned into feminine energy to negotiate or connect and leaned into masculine energy to telegraph authority. By moving in and out of the two energies, she could pour into people what they needed at the time and bring out their best.
Good Leaders Energize Others
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou
I came across a TikTok from another executive coach explaining how C-Suite leaders behave during meetings. They control their energy as they listen, ask questions, or respond to questions. They don’t have outbursts or raise their voice. As someone who used to sit in many C-Suite meetings, I also observed this. The meetings were rather pleasant, even when the message was difficult.
Whether the person is right or wrong is irrelevant. Their ability to read and shift the room’s energy makes the men and women around the table influential leaders. They assess a situation or conversation to determine the best outcome and transfer the necessary energy.
If they want to telegraph authority, they may lean into masculine energy by using a commanding voice and speaking slowly. If they want to generate connectedness and camaraderie, they may lean into the feminine energy of vulnerability.
What I think many people get wrong is thinking about leading like a man or a woman rather than shifting energy. Hatshepsut demonstrated over two decades that leaders will see better outcomes if they put the person first. Followers will rarely remember the words, but they will remember how you made them feel.
What I think many people get wrong is thinking about leading like a man or a woman rather than shifting energy. Hatshepsut demonstrated over two decades that leaders will see better outcomes if they put the person first.
Bad leaders also transfer energy but in the wrong direction. They are adept at extracting energy from almost everyone around them. They typically can’t manage their energy and may raise their voice, yell, or engage in outbursts or public humiliation. They demand people yield to the power of their title. Unfortunately, this behavior leads to stress and burnout and breaks teams.
Great Leaders Transform Energy
Leaders that master the positive transfer of energy are also good at transforming energy. They can read a room or situation and diffuse it. One of the most effective tactics of a great leader is to neutralize destructive energy.
Have you ever complained to a leader, and they sat still, managed their facial expression, and repeated what you said but not exactly what you said? They were in neutral energy. Being in neutral energy may come across as cold. But it’s good for both of you.
If someone is upset, neutral energy allows them to vent while not adding fuel to the fire. Rephrasing helps them to reframe the situation. For example, a product manager was lamenting that the target for his franchise was too high, given the market growth rate. I nodded. He continued. Eventually, he paused, and I said, “What I hear you saying is that you’re expected to outgrow the market by x%.”
He confirmed. I asked him, “What would it take to achieve that?”. He responded that he would have to grab market share. The conversation instantly changed to problem-solving and the start of a plan to take market share from competitors.
The negative energy was neutralized, and the mindset shift triggered his competitive nature. After that, all he thought about was how to beat the competition. The revenue target was missed, but he developed a strategy that took market share and generated more customers. And that benefits everyone.
Being in neutral energy is the calm in the storm. You can also use neutralization if you are the target of a bad leader. Don’t react when they raise their voice or otherwise. It fuels them. That said, don’t abide abusive behavior, but don’t match their energy. Remember, what powers a bad leader is your energy.
When you are stuck or in a situation, consider the outcome and transfer the energy you think will bring about the best outcome.
