Bueller is my 16-year-old beagle. To meet her, you wouldn’t know that she’s 85 in dog years. Her sweet little face and her love of playing fool people into thinking she’s a puppy. However, her hind legs have betrayed her. She has arthritis, and over time she’s lost muscle and mobility. For a while, she was doing water therapy, but alas, doing her business has become unpredictable. Because she still has energy for long walks but not the ability, I bought her a doggie ‘wheelchair.’ Her first time in it was awkward. But after I made small adjustments, she was able to take off full speed (for her). It’s incredible how such a small change led to a big outcome. It got me to thinking about how we look at setting goals all wrong. By doing the least, we can accomplish the most.
#1 – Going Big or Going Home
New year brings with it hope for better things. We leave behind the old to free our hands to catch the new. Hope springs eternal. And as such, we tend to set lofty goals, most of which will be abandoned by the end of January. It’s excellent to set goals. But I believe sometimes we set goals that are so lofty that once we begin the journey, we become overwhelmed.
My approach to goal setting is to establish the desired outcome and then create a set of smaller goals that move you toward it. For example, weight loss is probably the most common objective. The mistake we make is focusing on the number of pounds to lose by the end of the year. The problem with this method is, the end goal is so far away, and there are no celebration points along the way. It’s better to set four weight loss goals (one per quarter) and include alternative measures such as inches lost. Before you know it, when the end of the year comes, you’re sailing into your overall desired outcome for the year.
#2 – We Compare Our Results
Warning – your results may not be the same as others. There is a reason this disclaimer appears everywhere. Several factors go into success. Comparing your progress to someone else’s doesn’t reveal those factors. Maybe they had a different starting point, or they have different resources from you; perhaps they’re exaggerating. Regardless, the fastest way to slow down your results is to look at how fast someone else appears to be gaining theirs. Plus, it’s toxic.
Instead, use benchmarking as a method to help you create your goals from the outset. Study the average length of time and results, and use them as a gauge, not as a guarantee. It’s important to have examples, but make sure they’re significantly further along in their journey than you allowing you to learn from their experience.
#3 – We Abandon The Goal Rather Than Change It
Goals should be achievable. But what if you create a goal that you later find out isn’t really achievable? The answer isn’t to toss it, but to modify it. The power of the pivot is real. Maybe you believed you would have more time to dedicate to it, or you discover it requires more resources than you initially considered. It’s okay to correct and continue. Progress is still progress, but stopping means you’ll have to start again from scratch later.
#4 – We Consider A Dream Deferred To Be A Dream Denied
Guilty! This one is so me. I believe in the power of positive thinking to manifest your dreams. But when my dream feels delayed after trying and working, I consider it to be a dream denied. It’s not. That’s not to say we always get what we want in life, but I do believe that we always get what is meant for us. The problem comes when what we want and what we get don’t look the same. When the reality is, every experience prepares us for something. And we end up taking the lessons for granted because at the time they don’t mean anything to us. Where you are now is the sum total of all the words you’ve spoken, decisions you’ve made, and actions you’ve taken. A million little things over time have led to your today. And what you do today is leading toward your tomorrow.
Ask yourself this, why is this happening FOR me? What can I learn today that will help me tomorrow?
#5 – We Mistake Waiting For Patience
Ugh! This one is also me. Or rather, it was. Even though I typically make the jump, I used to spend a lot of time waiting. Sometimes I waited out of fear. Other times I waited to see if the fruits of my labor would bloom. I once endured a year of abuse from a toxic manager waiting to see if he would change. Duh. Of course he wouldn’t. His behavior had gone unchecked for nearly a decade. But I tricked myself into staying by saying I was “patient.”
No doubt, patience is a virtue. Everything we want in life doesn’t come when we want or the way we want. Patience becomes waiting when we start making excuses for why or start bargaining with ourselves. We begin using if/then statements – ‘if I don’t get the promotion, then I’m out of here.’ Ultimately, the wait hinders our ability to achieve our most audacious goals. These days, I start slowly rather than not at all. So have patience, but while you’re being patient, start something slowly. Then if your bet doesn’t pan out, you already have something else in motion.
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