A constant in life is that life is gonna life. We all will get our fair share of lemons. Instead of making lemonade, use them to create infinite possibilities for yourself.
Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution. -Stanly Arnold
On the surface, this may seem like one of those toxic positivity posts. It’s not. It’s also not a plea to be perpetually optimistic in the face of crappy circumstances. This is an article about looking for the seeds of opportunity in the challenges, planting them, and multiplying your personal power.
Element 1: The Helmet
Your thoughts become your words, words become actions, and actions become your reality. The life you have now is a result of your past actions that reflect your past thoughts. Do you have the life you want? The warrior’s helmet builds and protects their mindset.
There are three aspects of the mindset that I believe are critically important. First is understanding what your self-limiting beliefs are and how they originated. An example of a common self-limiting belief is impostor syndrome. This is when we don’t believe we deserve what we have, and we will eventually be discovered to be a fraud. This was me for eight months after being accepted into business school. I used to think they would come to snatch me out of class to tell me there’s been a horrible mistake. These beliefs develop from what we’re told, what we experience, and what we observe. And what I had been told by teachers through sixth grade is that I wasn’t worthy – some teachers even refused to teach me. Acknowledging that allowed me to release my impostor syndrome. The key is not to fight your negative self-talk but rather invite it to sit down and tell you its story.
The second aspect of mindset is having a growth versus fixed mindset. A growth mindset is open to learning new things and seeing the world through possibilities. A fixed mindset believes nothing can change; if it does, it must be through an impossible or improbable set of circumstances. Someone with a growth mindset uses words such as “yet” or demonstrates curiosity. A fixed mindset isn’t fixed. You can shift your mindset by shifting your words.
The third aspect of mindset is that it requires action to internalize the shift. I used to attend these motivational conferences. At first, they were critical to driving a mindset shift for me. They uncovered truths about the world, and I met some amazing people. Also, during these conferences, people would try to sell us stuff that promised to change our lives. I invested in many programs or products that I thought would change my life. What they all required, however, was action. Despite being made to sound easy from the stage, none of these things were easy or instant. The most impactful investments were those that came with mindset shifts and action items. People were addicted to the highs they got from listening to amazing speakers but found themselves in the same place weeks later. This experience made me realize that consistent action is required to make the mindset shift permanent. And any program that didn’t offer direct coaching or some accountability aspect was not for me.
Imposter syndrome is real and imagined. It is the real feeling of an imagined lack of worth.
Element 2: Wings
What happens when you finally jump? You will fall straight down. I’m not going to sugarcoat that for you. Like birds pushed from the nest, we hurl down to the ground at an alarming rate. That is scary. But it wasn’t scary when we did it as children. It wasn’t scary for those who left home and went to college. It was exhilarating. But, along the way, we learned to fear the natural progression of life.
The warrior’s wings are faith and belief. Just like baby birds, we eventually come out of the downward fall and begin to soar. We are shakey at first, but then we gain control. And those wings carry us to places we only imagined. The cool thing about flying is that others see you flying and want to be the wind beneath your wings. Yeah, I went there 😆. Seriously, when you bet on yourself and jump, the universe will rise up to meet you because it has to. But also people whom you didn’t know were standing in the gap for you will appear.
Element 3: Flame
The flame represents passion. All warriors have a quest. Some may have more than one. It’s that thing they believe they have been called to accomplish. My why is to do good in the world by helping do-gooders do good in the world. I ❤️ seeing people win. That’s kind of it. I don’t believe I’m here to find the cure for cancer. I believe I’m here to help the person who is here to find the cure for cancer. Or the person who is here to start a school. Or the person who wants to be a good friend, mother, father, and so on.
I think one of the struggles we as humans have is that we think purpose comes in the form of the dramatic. It has to be life-changing, or it’s not a purpose. When it’s actually answering your call, whatever it is. Do you know how often people tell me they aren’t special? They just go to work, go home, and take care of their family, pets, or both. Warriors are everyday people doing extraordinarily ordinary things that impact their lives and that of others.
If something has been calling to you or nagging at you, that’s your flame. It may have dimmed, but it didn’t go out.
Element 4: Armor
Have you ever gotten lemon juice in your eye? It stings. They are also tart and need a little something extra to make them tolerable. That said, they are an incredibly useful fruit. The point is that trouble will come, and a warrior needs their armor to protect the flame. Doubt will creep in, and life will life. How we arm ourselves against the known and unknown becomes very important.
Armor can take the form of planning and mitigating risks. It can be taking action. Or, one of my favorites, removing those things and people from your life that don’t serve you and keep you small. If you want to see who is team you, start leveling up in your life. You will find that as you grow and surround yourself with people and things that serve you, those that don’t will rail against you. Don’t fight. Let them fall away.
Many people who achieve success will say it was the darkest before dawn. The universe has a way of making a mess to give you a message. Once you are on a mission, things or people will line up against you, but your armor will ensure you keep going, but it will likely still hurt. The challenge prepares you. Not to get religious, but one of my favorite Bible verses says, “no weapon formed against you shall prosper” however, that doesn’t mean that weapons won’t form. Be ready. And eventually, you will find yourself on the other side.
Element 5: Weapon
The sword is what I use to signify the weapon the warrior uses to cut his or her way through the world. The weapon is the warrior’s gift or superpower. It is that thing that only you can do the way you do it. A good way to know if something is your gift is that people ask you how you make it look so easy. And you don’t know. It comes naturally to you.
You can have more than one gift, but there’s one that sort of stands above the rest. My weapon is liberating your dreams from the confines of your mind. In business, it’s closing the strategy-to-execution gap. Both of these are fancy ways of saying I figure out what needs to be done, how to get it done, and then I get it done. I’m all about mindset and action.
I have a simple exercise called solving for the X-Factor to help people realize their gifts. You will have to dust off those algebra skills.
As a coach, I often listen to people talk themselves out of their greatness. They don’t want to be stuck, but they don’t want to be unstuck either. They will say it’s the amount of investment it takes to work with me. It doesn’t matter if I charge $0, $200, or $2,000; even when people can afford it, they will push back or ghost me – it’s never about the money.
Lemons are an incredibly useful fruit. A warrior will plant the seeds from life’s lemons, grow trees, and create infinite possibilities for themselves.
